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There was this time when I was 14 I left gym class wearing this ugly sweatshirt my mom bought me, I usually only wore it for gym but since I'm always cold I left it on asking my friends if it looked okay. They replied one way but their faces said another answer but again I was so cold and I liked the shirt I was wearing even less than the sweatshirt so I wore it anyway. So on my way to the next class a guy I have never seen before grabbed me by the collar of my sweatshirt and pulled me up to his face and said "Yeah, she's REAL pretty." EXTREMELY sarcastically, then pushed me back into the crowd of people. I never saw the guy again.
The point of that story is that things like that happened to me all the time. That random people would go out of their way to make me feel awful. I didn't do anything to these people. Since I turned 17 I've had strangers tell me I was beautiful but I can't and don't believe them because of how people treated me before hand. And on nights like this all I can do is lay awake and think of everything that's wrong with me until I reduce myself to tears and fall asleep from exhaustion by the time the sun is already up. I haven't gone to sleep tonight. I'm 22 and I still beat myself up about things I messed up when I was a child. My self worth was so low when I moved to my new high school I hid in the bathroom during break because I thought my new friends didn't really like me and I didn't want to bother them EVEN though they always asked where I was and asked me to join them next time.
I never understood the point in making fun of other people... ever. There are so many important things in the world I could worry about, I could have payed attention in class and become smart or something but instead I had to be ready to move my head because the guy behind me in science class purposefully would sneeze and spit in my hair. (I know he did it on purpose because he said it loudly to his friends who were also jerks but even they told him to stop because it was disgusting) A group of girls in another class would take my stuff from under my desk and hide it so I had to concentrate on my stuff and I was such a loser I wouldn't say anything or stop them. I could have made lots of friends or had fun or have just been myself but all I'm able to do is wonder what the next person is going to do to me. And it's just a completely pathetic way to live. I know it's pathetic I just can't stop thinking that way no matter how hard I try.
I don't know why I'm writing this journal, hopefully maybe putting it out there where anyone can read it will get it out of my head or something because it needs to get out, it's been there way too long.
I do have some news that makes me feel good though. The person who bought those wedding dolls (there is a groom doll as well I just don't have a picture) gave them to the bride and she was ecstatic about it. And bought a case for them to be safe so she can put them into her wedding (I'm assuming at the reception part, dolls at the service might be a little weird
) and she said they were now going to be family heirlooms. I worked really hard on them and I'm very happy I could make someone's day brighter, it has always made me happy to make other's happy even if I exhaust myself doing so 
~ member of:
Artistic 
Wow...that's awful. I have absolutly no idea what I could say to better describe it, but it is. I've had to take crap in High School, so I guess I can kind of empathize. Those things definatly leave marks.
This is one of those time when I really wish I had some sort of AWESOME ADVICE to make it all better/make you not feel sad. I guess the best I can offer is not to beat yourself up. Honestly, those idiots in high school are just idiots, and they probably knew short to nothing about you-all they deserve is a punch in the face, not any sort of lingering sadness on your part. And certainly if anyone treats you like that again, don't waste time being polite with them-it's scarry to say 'shut up', but once get used to it, it can come in handy-take it from me X3
Daw JE, wish I could help moare T.T I hope you feel better soon!
We were asking ourselves, if the people that were so horrible to us even give us a second thought now. Do they even rememebr how mean they were, or us? I thought, probably not, and it's unfair that we, the 'victims; should be left thinking of them nearly every day. It's become better as the years go on though
Writing definitely does help!
I think about the people that tormented me all the time, I don't believe for a second they even remember who I am or if they did they don't give it much thought. I just hope they've grown out of that behavior.
It has become better, it's just certain days when all I can think about is them, I'm really just stuck wondering why people (random strangers) treated me so badly, I honestly NEVER started anything with anybody.
I'm sorry you have had things that have happened to you that you're still uncomfortable talking about. I have a hard time telling my "stories" a lot because sometimes I think other people will finally realize what a loser I was and maybe they'll realize that something is wrong with me and they'll treat me that way too.
I really wonder if they thought it affected people this much would they still have done it?
Also, as I like to think, those people that have to resort to putting down other people are very sad, because the only thing that made them feel big in the pants, was to be horrible to people who didn't deserve it and most likely wouldn't fight back. It's sad that they felt their friends wouldn't accept them if they did not act horribly to other people, and that probably their greatest satisfactions were from the insults they gave. It's quite disgusting really ;o
I'm just glad that these days it seems to be harder for people to bully. (Though where I live, in Australia, sometimes I think they still need a bit of revision on their rules
*hugs* for the bad days.